28 Things I Learned Before Turning 28
All my friends know that if it involves fire or fanfare, I will want to buy it, no matter the occasion.
On April 16th, 1998, one of the most influential, show-stopping, beautiful women of the Gen-Z generation would be born. Some people love her, some people hate her, and most people have no idea who the hell this is (it’s me lol).
Jokes aside, I’m an Aries, so while I’m not exactly on track to make into Forbe’s “30 Under 30 List” today, someone’s gotta sing my praises for making it another year around the sun. It’s also a yearly tradition of mine to write down the things I learned over the years, a growing list as I age. Here’s 28 things I learned before my 28th birthday:
Everyone has a number for how much it would cost for them to do the thing they claim they would “never” do. Raunchy or not, everyone has a thing people claim they wouldn’t do, even for a million dollars. But have they ever been presented the opportunity? You’d be shocked at what people will do for a little extra cash (or maybe not, we live in late-stage capitalism).
You should say hi to your neighbors more, and your friends. And call your mom. She’s also just a girl.
“No one is coming to save you” is such a defeatist saying that implies everyone is trying to screw you over (and if you’re not perfect 100% of the time, it’s your fault if something bad happens to you), but it’s been packaged as “grindset mentality” so dudebros don’t have to take accountability for other people. People deserve kindness and help AT LEAST every once in a while. People believing in each other, art, and little acts of kindness can be the difference between someone making it to the next day. It’s cool to help people out.
Being cringe is the first step to being a cool and interesting person. It just means you have a personality, and not everyone is going to gel with it, and regardless of if your boring or fun, someone will have a problem with you anyway.
Sometimes people will actively go out of their way to misunderstand you, and that’s not your problem to correct them, because they will go out of their way to misunderstand you then too.
The person who always wants to gossip about others has definitely spoken poorly of you, too.
Everyone needs a therapist (and a mental health toolkit, not just someone to vent to.)
Red is a color that you don’t need to wear a lot of for people to notice your color is red (especially if your hair is already red). Wear more red anyway.
If someone keeps making you uncomfortable or making inappropriate advances towards you at a bar, store, gym, or work, don’t be afraid to be an asshole about it. Your safety is more important than someone else’s lack of boundaries.
Get friends who will cheer you on, rather than critique your every move. Your inner spark shifts when you’re around people who support you rather than make you feel small.
You’re allowed to have some time off. Not every single waking moment of your existence needs to be “optimized.” It will never be enough otherwise.
Sometimes you’ll never be enough for certain people, but you can be enough for yourself, and that’s ultimately who matters.
Your inner child deserves a hug and a voice. Buy the thing you wanted as a kid.
Older women are rad as hell. The ones who lift others up, wear what they like, express themselves, and don’t let their inner child die; it shows. I hope to be like that when I’m older.
Not every trend is for your life or your body, and that’s okay.
On the topic of your body, the most important thing is that it’s healthy, not if it’s skinny. Chronic illness taught me that one.
The people who have the most negative things to say about others tend to be losers, regardless of what their lives appear to look like.
Be the magic you want to see in your life.
Action is the antidote to anxiety. Whether that’s movement, a new project that excites you, or just talking to someone, sitting in your head does nothing.
Have a creative outlet, always. Or 2 or 3.
Don’t make your entire personality revolve around your job. Your job is just one part of your life, and it should supplement what you actually want to do with it.
Peace is more important than understanding why something happened the way it did.
Everyone should be allowed to have their “frivolous purchases.” Mine over the years included 2 Louis Vuitton bags, a collection of romance and horror books recommended by TikTok and my book club, my shoe collection, and a lot of little trinkets.
Join a book club. It doesn’t have to be an intellectual one either. I’ve had some of my best reads as recommendations from my book club (not to mention lifelong friends!)
Wear the outfit that is a little “out there”. And do it again.
What if most people in the world are actually good, and want community, harmony, and peace as I do?
It’s better to be the one doing the right thing than the one who goes along with others because it doesn’t get you “in trouble.”
Getting older, especially as a woman, does not mean “you’re washed up” or “expired.” Getting older is a blessing that not everyone has the privilege to experience.
I think this is the first birthday I had where I actually felt kind of old. I was 18 years old in 2016, which was 10 years ago. Yet, that doesn’t feel that long ago. And in those 10 years, I became a woman who has been through so much loss, grief, and pain, but has also experienced some of the best moments of my life. Here’s to many more of those ahead.